💬 Have Important Conversations with Your Partner: Laugh, Love, and Prep for Parenthood

So, you’re having a baby. Congratulations! You’re about to experience the most sleep-deprived, snack-filled, emotionally expansive, and inexplicably beautiful chapter of your life.

But let’s be real for a second: no amount of cute onesies or stroller features will prepare you for the parenting transition like a few brutally honest, belly-laugh-inducing conversations with your partner.

This guide isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being real, proactive, and lovingly on the same page before one of you is up at 3 a.m. trying to Google “how to swaddle a ninja baby.”

🧠 Why These Conversations Matter

Becoming parents means shifting your relationship from “just us” to “us and the baby.” It’s a joyful transition—but it also comes with a truckload of new responsibilities, identity changes, and opportunities for misunderstanding (like, who knew there were that many ways to wash a bottle?).

Having open, thoughtful, sometimes hilarious conversations before baby arrives helps:

Set realistic expectations
Prevent resentment and burnout
Create a team mindset (you’ll need it!)
Build emotional intimacy in a totally new season of life

🛋️ The Top 10 Conversations to Have Before Baby Arrives

1. “What does parenting mean to you?”

Spoiler: Your definitions may differ. One of you may picture gentle, attachment-based parenting, while the other thinks “structured nap schedules and firm rules.” That’s okay—but talk it out now, not mid-tantrum at Target.

💡 Ask: “What did we love about our childhoods? What do we want to do differently?”

2. “Who’s doing what (and when)?”

No, this isn’t a game of chore roulette. You’ll want to chat about:

Who’s on nighttime duty?
Who changes diapers or makes bottles?
Who handles doctor appointments?

💡 Tip: Split the work based on strengths—not necessarily 50/50, but fair and flexible.

3. “How will we communicate when we’re both exhausted?”

Picture it: one of you hasn’t showered in 48 hours, the other just spilled milk on a crying baby, and someone dared to breathe loudly.

This is when grace and clarity matter more than ever.

💬 Try: “Let’s agree to pause arguments when we’re overtired and revisit after coffee/sleep.”

4. “What kind of support system do we want?”

Will you want visitors right after birth?
Will Grandma be moving in?
Are you team “village” or team “quiet recovery”?

💡 Tip: Set boundaries now. You can always loosen them later.

5. “How will we protect time for just us?”

Romance might look different post-baby (hello, sweatpants and burp cloths), but your connection still matters.

💡 Idea: Create a list of quick “micro-dates” you can do at home—like 20 minutes of Netflix and shared chocolate before bed.

6. “What’s our plan for self-care and mental health?”

Both of you will go through emotional shifts—whether it’s postpartum hormones, lack of sleep, or the overwhelming responsibility of keeping a tiny human alive.

💡 Tip: Know the signs of postpartum depression or anxiety in both birthing and non-birthing partners, and check in often.

7. “What if we don’t agree on something… big?”

From circumcision to sleep training to screen time, disagreements happen.

💬 Try: “Let’s agree to research, reflect, and decide together—and revisit decisions when needed.”

8. “How do we talk about money, now that we have a baby?”

Babies don’t care about budgets, but your wallet will.

Discuss:

Parental leave and lost income
Daycare costs
Emergency funds and baby expenses

💡 Pro move: Set up a shared budget or financial goals spreadsheet now.

9. “What do we want our family culture to look like?”

Will you be a holiday-matching-pajama crew? A camping-every-summer clan? A no-screen, yes-books family?

💬 Ask: “What traditions do we want to keep, blend, or start?”

10. “How will we support each other—not just the baby?”

Sometimes, the best thing you can say isn’t “Did the baby poop?”—it’s “How are you really doing?”

💡 Check-in idea: “What’s been the hardest part for you this week? And what made you smile?”

😂 Bonus Conversation Starters (Because Laughter Is Key)

“If we were TV parents, who would we be? (Phil and Claire Dunphy? Marge and Homer?)”
“Who’s most likely to cry during baby’s first bath?”
“How long before we put Cheerios in our purse and forget about them for 6 months?”

❤️ Final Thoughts: Talk Now, Thrive Later

Becoming parents is like starting a brand-new team—one that’s messy, magical, and full of learning curves. The more you and your partner talk, laugh, cry, and plan now, the better prepared you’ll be to face the chaos and joy together.

So don’t be afraid to dive into the deep stuff—and sprinkle in the silly. You’re not just raising a baby. You’re building a family—and that starts with two people who choose each other, even when there’s spit-up on your shirt and a pacifier in your pocket.

Resources: Check lists:

Spanish:

Lista de Verificación de Conversaciones en Pareja spanish Download

English:

Partner_Conversation_Checklist_EN Download

Bibliography

Gottman, J. M., & Gottman, J. S. (2007). And baby makes three: The six-step plan for preserving marital intimacy and rekindling romance after baby arrives. Crown Publishing Group.

Shapiro, A. F., Gottman, J. M., & Carrère, S. (2000). The baby and the marriage: Identifying factors that buffer against decline in marital satisfaction after the first baby arrives. Journal of Family Psychology, 14(1), 59–70. https://doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.14.1.59

The Gottman Institute. (n.d.). Bringing Baby Home Program. https://www.gottman.com/product/bringing-baby-home/

National Childbirth Trust. (2021). Preparing your relationship for parenthood. https://www.nct.org.uk/

American Psychological Association. (2019). Transition to parenthood. https://www.apa.org/topics/parenting/transition

Zero to Three. (2023). How becoming a parent changes your relationship. https://www.zerotothree.org/resources

National Perinatal Association. (2018). Supporting the emotional health of new parents. https://www.nationalperinatal.org/

Postpartum Support International. (2022). Perinatal mood and anxiety disorders: Information for partners. https://www.postpartum.net/

Legal Disclaimer: The information provided by our nonprofit is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical concerns. We make no guarantees about the accuracy or completeness of the information and are not liable for any decisions made based on it. If you have a medical emergency, call 911 or seek immediate medical care.