Taking Care of Yourself Is Part of Taking Care of Your Child

Six-year-olds can be wonderful, funny, curious, energetic, and increasingly independent. One minute, your child may proudly read a sentence by themselves. The next minute, they may be crying because their favorite shirt is in the laundry or arguing that brushing their teeth is somehow the greatest injustice they have ever experienced.

Welcome to parenting a 6-year-old.

At this age, children are entering an exciting period of growth. School becomes a bigger part of life. Friendships become more important. Children begin taking on more responsibilities and developing stronger opinions about what they like, dislike, want, and definitely do not want to do.

Parents are growing alongside them.

The challenges of parenting do not disappear when the toddler years end. They simply change. Instead of diapers and toddler tantrums, you may now be balancing school schedules, homework, activities, friendships, behavior, bedtime, household responsibilities, work, finances, and your child’s growing emotional needs.

Somewhere in the middle of all of that, parents may feel pressure to do everything perfectly.

But here is something every parent deserves to hear:

Your child does not need a perfect parent.

Your child needs a parent who loves them, provides reasonable consistency and safety, repairs mistakes, asks for help when necessary, and keeps trying.

Taking care of your own well-being is part of that process.

Parents Are Under a Lot of Pressure

Parenting stress is real, and many families experience it.

In 2024, the U.S. Surgeon General released an advisory specifically addressing the mental health and well-being of parents and caregivers. According to 2023 data included in the advisory, 33% of parents reported high levels of stress during the previous month, compared with 20% of other adults. Even more striking, 48% of parents reported that their stress felt completely overwhelming on most days, compared with 26% of other adults (Office of the Surgeon General, 2024).

Parents may experience stress related to finances, work, lack of time, children’s health and safety, technology, loneliness, family responsibilities, and worries about their children’s futures.

For families raising school-age children, there can be another layer: the feeling that parents should constantly be doing more.

More activities.

More educational opportunities.

More family experiences.

More healthy meals.

Why Parenting a 6-Year-Old Can Feel So Busy

Six is an interesting age because children are becoming more independent while still needing considerable guidance.

Your child may be able to dress independently but still need five reminders to put on their shoes.

They may understand classroom rules but struggle to manage frustration when something does not go their way.

They may want more independence but still need reassurance at bedtime.

They may develop strong friendships while also experiencing arguments, hurt feelings, jealousy, or worries about fitting in.

At the same time, family schedules can become increasingly complicated.

A typical week might include:

School
Homework or reading
Transportation
Sports or activities
Birthday parties
Playdates
Doctor or dental appointments
Household chores
Meal preparation
Bedtime routines
Work responsibilities
Family obligations

Parents may also carry an invisible mental checklist: remembering school spirit day, buying toothpaste, signing a permission slip, scheduling an appointment, washing a uniform, responding to an email, finding the missing library book, and figuring out what everyone is eating for dinner.

That mental load adds up.

Recognizing that parenting requires real physical and emotional energy is an important first step toward managing stress.

Let Go of the Perfect Parent Standard

One of the most powerful things parents can do for their wellness is reconsider what successful parenting actually looks like.

Successful parenting does not require getting everything right.

You will lose your patience sometimes.

You may forget something for school.

Dinner may occasionally come from a box or takeout container.

Your child may have more screen time than usual on a difficult day.

You may say something in frustration that you later wish you had handled differently.

What matters is what happens next.

Parents can model something incredibly valuable by acknowledging mistakes.

You might say:

“I was frustrated earlier and raised my voice. I should have handled that differently. I’m sorry.”

That does more than repair the relationship. It teaches your child that people can make mistakes, take responsibility, apologize, and try again.

Your child is learning how to be human by watching you.

They do not need to watch someone pretending to be perfect.

Notice Your Stress Before You Reach Empty

Stress often builds gradually.

You may not wake up one morning feeling completely overwhelmed. Instead, small pressures accumulate.

Parents may begin noticing:

Increased irritability
Feeling constantly rushed
Trouble concentrating
Difficulty sleeping
Feeling emotionally drained
Becoming impatient over small problems
Losing interest in activities they normally enjoy
Feeling disconnected from friends or family
Feeling like there is never enough time
Constantly thinking about everything that needs to be done

These signs are worth paying attention to.

Think of stress like the battery indicator on your phone.

Most people would not intentionally let their phone reach 1% every single day and expect it to work normally.

Parents deserve the same consideration.

You do not have to wait until you are completely exhausted before taking care of yourself.

The Five-Minute Reset

When parents hear the words “self-care,” they sometimes imagine expensive vacations, spa days, or hours of uninterrupted free time.

Those things can be wonderful, but they are not always realistic.

Parental wellness can begin much smaller.

Try building a five-minute reset into your day.

For five minutes, you might:

Sit somewhere quiet
Step outside
Stretch
Drink water
Listen to music
Practice slow breathing
Take a short walk
Put your phone away
Write down what is worrying you
Have a cup of coffee or tea without multitasking

Five minutes will not eliminate every source of stress. But small pauses can interrupt the feeling that you must operate at full speed all day.

Try telling yourself:

“For the next five minutes, I do not have to accomplish anything.”

Try the Three-Breath Reset

Parents can also use a very short calming strategy during stressful moments.

When you notice yourself becoming overwhelmed:

Breath One: Slowly breathe in and notice what is happening in your body.

Breath Two: Breathe out slowly and relax your shoulders, jaw, and hands.

Breath Three: Ask yourself, “What does this situation actually need from me right now?”

The answer may be different from your first impulse.

Your child may need a boundary.

They may need reassurance.

They may need space.

Or maybe everyone simply needs ten minutes to cool down.

The goal is not to become perfectly calm. The goal is to create a small space between feeling stressed and reacting to that stress.

Choose Your Priorities

One reason parenting becomes overwhelming is that everything begins feeling equally urgent.

It isn’t.

Try asking yourself:

What actually needs to happen today?

Maybe your child needs to get to school. Everyone needs something to eat. Homework needs to be reasonably completed. Everyone needs some sleep.

Those are priorities.

The laundry being perfectly folded may not be.

The kitchen looking spotless may not be.

Creating an elaborate educational activity after school may not be.

Children benefit from enrichment, but they also benefit from ordinary family life.

They can play independently.

They can help with chores.

They can be bored occasionally.

They can eat simple meals.

They can have quiet afternoons.

Your family schedule does not have to resemble an airport departure board.

Give Your 6-Year-Old Some Responsibility

Parental wellness does not mean parents must handle every task themselves.

Six-year-olds are capable of contributing to family routines in age-appropriate ways.

Depending on your child, they may be able to:

Put dirty clothes in a hamper
Place dishes in the sink
Help set the table
Pack part of their backpack
Put toys away
Feed a pet with supervision
Help sort laundry
Make their bed
Carry their belongings
Choose clothes for the next day

The goal is not to turn childhood into a list of chores.

The goal is to teach children:

“Everyone in our family helps.”

At first, teaching a child a new responsibility may take longer than doing it yourself. That is normal. Over time, however, those small responsibilities can become routines while also helping children develop independence.

You Do Not Have to Enter Every Battle

Six-year-olds can have very strong opinions.

The blue cup may suddenly be unacceptable.

A jacket may be declared unnecessary despite freezing temperatures.

Homework may become a negotiation worthy of an international summit.

Not every disagreement requires the same amount of parental energy.

Ask yourself:

Is this a safety issue?

Is this an important family boundary?

Or is this something I can let my child decide?

For example:

“You need to brush your teeth. You can choose whether you brush before or after pajamas.”

“You need a jacket with us because it is cold. You can decide whether you wear it right now.”

“We need to leave in ten minutes. You can choose the red shoes or the blue shoes.”

Giving children limited choices can reduce unnecessary power struggles while still maintaining appropriate boundaries.

Save your energy for the limits that truly matter.

Protect Some Adult Time

Parenthood becomes a major part of identity, but it does not have to become your entire identity.

You are still a person with interests, friendships, relationships, goals, and needs.

Try protecting small pieces of adult life.

That might mean:

Calling a friend
Watching a favorite show
Exercising
Reading
Working on a hobby
Spending time with your partner
Going for a walk alone
Attending a community activity
Having dinner with another adult
Simply sitting quietly after your child goes to bed

You do not need to feel guilty for enjoying something that does not involve your child.

Children can benefit from seeing adults who maintain healthy interests and relationships.

Ask for Help Before You Are Desperate

Many parents wait until they are completely overwhelmed before asking for help.

Try asking earlier.

Support might come from:

A spouse or partner
Grandparents
Other relatives
Friends
Neighbors
Other parents
Teachers
School counselors
Pediatricians
Community organizations
Faith or cultural communities
Mental health professionals

Sometimes support is practical:

“Can you pick her up from school Thursday?”

Sometimes it is emotional:

“I’ve had a really difficult week. Can I talk to you?”

Sometimes parents simply need someone else to say:

“I get it. This is hard.”

Parenting was never meant to be an entirely individual job.

Stop Comparing Your Family to Everyone Else

Comparison can quietly increase parental stress.

Maybe another child is reading at a higher level.

Another family seems to take incredible vacations.

Someone else’s child plays three sports.

Another parent seems endlessly patient.

Remember that you are usually comparing your entire life to a small piece of someone else’s.

Families have different children, personalities, financial situations, work schedules, support systems, cultural traditions, health needs, values, and priorities.

What works beautifully for one family may be completely unrealistic for another.

Instead of asking:

“Am I doing as much as other parents?”

Try asking:

“Is this working for our family?”

That is a much healthier measuring stick.

Create a “Good Enough” Day

On particularly stressful days, lower the bar.

A good-enough day might mean:

Your child ate.

They went to school.

You connected for a few minutes.

You kept them safe.

You got through the bedtime routine.

Nobody needs an award-winning parenting performance every Tuesday.

Some days are about thriving.

Other days are about getting everyone fed, reasonably clean, and into bed.

Both count.

Let Your Child See Healthy Coping

One unexpected benefit of caring for yourself is that your child gets to watch you do it.

You can say:

“I’ve had a busy day. I’m going to sit quietly for five minutes.”

“I am getting frustrated, so I’m going to take a few breaths before we talk.”

“I need some fresh air. Let’s take a walk.”

“I’ve been doing a lot today. I’m going to rest for a little while.”

These statements teach children that stress is something people can recognize and manage.

Instead of believing adults should simply push through every uncomfortable feeling, children learn that taking care of ourselves is normal.

That lesson may follow them far beyond age six.

A Simple Weekly Parent Check-In

Once a week, take five minutes and ask yourself five questions.

1. What drained me this week?

Was it work? Mornings? Homework? Finances? Bedtime? Transportation?

2. What helped me feel better?

Maybe exercise helped. Maybe talking to a friend helped. Maybe an earlier bedtime helped.

3. What can I make easier next week?

Could lunches be prepared the night before?

Could your child take over one responsibility?

Could you say no to one optional activity?

4. Who can support me?

Identify one person you can contact if the week becomes difficult.

5. What did I do well?

Parents often review their mistakes while ignoring everything they accomplished.

Give yourself credit, too.

When Stress Feels Like More Than Stress

Everyone experiences difficult parenting days.

However, persistent emotional distress deserves attention.

Consider reaching out to a healthcare or mental health professional if stress is significantly interfering with your daily life, relationships, sleep, work, or ability to function.

You can begin with your primary care provider, a therapist, your child’s pediatrician, or another trusted professional who can help connect you with appropriate support.

Asking for support is not a parenting failure.

It is another way of taking care of your family.

The 7-Day Parent Wellness Challenge

Try one small action each day.

Day 1: Take Five
Spend five uninterrupted minutes doing something restorative.

Day 2: Ask for Help
Let someone else handle one task.

Day 3: Drop One Expectation
Choose one thing that does not actually need to be perfect.

Day 4: Move Your Body
Take a walk, stretch, dance, or do another form of movement you enjoy.

Day 5: Connect
Call or message someone who makes you feel supported.

Day 6: Do Something for Yourself
Read, watch something funny, enjoy a hobby, listen to music, or simply rest.

Day 7: Notice What Worked
Ask yourself which small change made the biggest difference.

Then keep that one.

Wellness does not require changing your entire life overnight.

Small changes count.

Westchester County Community Support for Parents and Families

Parents do not have to handle stress alone. Westchester County has organizations that provide family support, behavioral-health services, parent education, peer support, advocacy, and connections to community resources.

You do not need to wait until your family reaches a crisis before asking for help.

Family Services of Westchester

Family Services of Westchester provides mental-health and social services for children, adults, and families throughout Westchester County. Its network includes Family Mental Health Centers offering outpatient mental and behavioral-health services.

White Plains Family Mental Health Center
7–11 South Broadway
White Plains, NY 10601
Phone: (914) 948-8004

Lanza Family Center for All Ages
106 North Broadway
White Plains, NY 10603
Phone: (914) 422-8100

Website:
https://www.fsw.org/

Parents can contact Family Services of Westchester to ask about counseling, family services, behavioral-health treatment, and other available programs.

Family Ties of Westchester

Family Ties of Westchester provides free and confidential peer support and advocacy for families affected by behavioral-health challenges.

Services include parent skills coaching, support groups, education, advocacy, workshops, and help connecting families with community resources.

White Plains Administrative Office
112 East Post Road, 3rd Floor
White Plains, NY 10601
Phone: (914) 995-5238

Family Ties also has community-based locations serving Mount Vernon, Ossining, Peekskill, White Plains, and Yonkers.

Website:
https://www.familytieswestchester.org/

This may be especially helpful for parents who feel overwhelmed trying to navigate behavioral-health, educational, or family-service systems.

Greater Mental Health of New York

Greater Mental Health of New York provides behavioral-health treatment and family-support services in Westchester County.

Family Support Services can include parent education, advocacy, skill building, community connections, and support from family peer professionals with lived caregiving experience.

General Westchester Information:
(914) 345-0700

Family Support Services – Westchester:
(914) 703-8021

Family and Friends Services:
(914) 345-0700, ext. 7303

White Plains Clinic:
360 Mamaroneck Avenue
White Plains, NY 10605

Website:
https://greatermentalhealth.org/

NAMI Westchester

NAMI Westchester provides mental-health education, support groups, advocacy, referrals, and information for individuals and families affected by mental-health conditions.

Address:
220 White Plains Road, Suite 125
Tarrytown, NY 10591

Phone/Helpline:
(914) 592-5458

Website:
https://namiwestchester.org/

NAMI Westchester offers peer-led support and educational opportunities for individuals and families. Parents can call to ask which current group or program best fits their situation.

Westchester Jewish Community Services

Westchester Jewish Community Services provides behavioral-health and social services to children, adults, and families throughout Westchester County.

Programs include mental-health treatment and a variety of community and family supports.

Main Office:
141 North Central Avenue
Hartsdale, NY 10530

Phone:
(914) 949-6761

Website:
https://www.wjcs.com/

Families can contact WJCS to learn which program or location is appropriate for their needs.

Remember: Support Is Part of Parenting

Community resources are not only for emergencies.

A parent might reach out because they are exhausted.

They might need someone to talk to.

They may want parenting support.

They might be concerned about their child’s behavior.

They may be struggling financially.

Or they may simply feel isolated and want to connect with other families.

One of the lessons we can give children is that people do not have to solve every problem alone.

Parents can model that lesson themselves.

Taking care of your own emotional and physical health is not taking attention away from your 6-year-old.

It is part of creating a healthy family environment in which both of you can continue growing together.

A Final Reminder for Parents

Your 6-year-old will probably not remember whether every lunch was perfectly balanced.

They probably will not remember whether the laundry was always folded.

They will not measure their childhood by how many enrichment activities you scheduled.

What children are much more likely to carry with them is the experience of being loved, protected, listened to, guided, and accepted.

And none of that requires perfection.

There will be wonderful days.

There will be difficult days.

There will be mornings when everyone gets out the door smoothly and mornings when someone cannot find a shoe.

There will be moments when you respond exactly the way you hoped and moments when you need to apologize and try again.

That is parenting.

You are not trying to raise your child without ever making a mistake.

You are showing them what it looks like to learn, repair, adapt, rest, ask for help, and keep going.

Your wellness matters, too.

Taking care of yourself does not take something away from your child.

It helps make sure there is enough of you left to enjoy growing together.

References and Bibliography

American Psychological Association. (2024). What advice do psychologists have to offer on how parents can manage stress and burnout? American Psychological Association.

American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Caring for yourself and your family member. American Psychological Association.

Family Services of Westchester. (n.d.). Family Services of Westchester. https://www.fsw.org/

Family Ties of Westchester. (n.d.). Family Ties of Westchester: Peer support and advocacy services for families impacted by behavioral health challenges. https://www.familytieswestchester.org/

Greater Mental Health of New York. (n.d.). Family & friends. https://greatermentalhealth.org/services-support/family-friends/

Greater Mental Health of New York. (n.d.). Family support services. https://greatermentalhealth.org/family-support-services/

National Alliance on Mental Illness Westchester. (n.d.). NAMI Westchester County. https://namiwestchester.org/

National Alliance on Mental Illness Westchester. (n.d.). Support groups. https://namiwestchester.org/support-and-education/support-groups/

Office of the Surgeon General. (2024). Parents under pressure: The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on the mental health and well-being of parents. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/reports-and-publications/parents/index.html

Westchester Jewish Community Services. (n.d.). Westchester Jewish Community Services. https://www.wjcs.com/

Legal Disclaimer: The information provided by our nonprofit is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for medical concerns. We make no guarantees about the accuracy or completeness of the information and are not liable for any decisions made based on it. If you have a medical emergency, call 911 or seek immediate medical care.